Liner Notes

Good news for anyone that was young enough or sensitive enough to be moved by the Garden State trailer (or, yeah, the film itself) back in 2003: The Postal Service is reuniting. The band’s official website reads “Postal Service 2013.” The duo, featuring Death Cab for Cutie’s Ben Gibbard and Jimmy Tamborello (a.ka. Dntel), famously got its name from the way in which they would send their song ideas back and forth between, you guessed it, the mail. The band will be getting back together to play at Coachella, the festival famous for bringing bands back together and putting them onstage in 115-degree heat in front of unwashed, dehydrated campers. TPS might also be extending the performance into an actual tour; but the extent of that tour has not yet been discussed, nor has the possibility of a new LP. All of this coincides with the 10th anniversary edition special release of their hit debut Give Up. Hearing the news that The Postal Service would reunite, twentysomethings from across the country, from reformed emos to high school jocks with unrevealed depth and sensitivity, jumped around like their collective hair was on fire.

Speaking of hair on fire, tiny lord of YouTube dubstep Skrillex got into some trouble recently when trying to blow out candles on his birthday cake. As the faux-bespectacled Corey Feldman look-alike leaned over to ring in another year of life, his hair sparked and began to burn. Sources close to the Skrillex say that his famous mop was too close to the flame and, probably, too full of flammable product. He may often drop basses, but he did not drop the ball: Skrillex quickly patted out the brushfire and any hope that people had that he would throw a fit. He handled it well, with a laugh, and then brought his swift breathy vengeance down upon the offending candle and its entire kin. For those interested parties that would think me a fabricator of the highest degree, one who would mislead you with such asides, I tell you this: take to the Internet and look for video evidence. It exists. It can be Googled.

Just like The Postal Service, this is a year of reunions and restarts. Justin Timberlake, who many people feared had abandoned his musical roots, released a new song called “Suit and Tie” featuring Jay-Z. It is currently on track to outsell “Sexyback”. Following this tease, he announced on his website that he will be putting a new album out this year: The 20/20 Experience. No word yet on whether it will feature Barbara Walters.

Additionally, Beyoncé has been busy, reuniting with those other people that were in Destiny’s Child. They’ve released a new, boring single and there is a rumor they may play at the Super Bowl halftime show. The song, “Nuclear,” features such compelling scientific moments as when the trio points out what happens “when two become one on a quantum level.” Professors at MIT and CalTech have been eager, since the release of the song, to get in touch with the group about their new findings in the field of quantum mechanics; but so far, the academics have gotten no further than Destiny’s publicist.

Beyoncé is also releasing an autobiographical documentary through HBO in which the star of Carmen: A Hip-Hopera videotapes herself through her tough times and her victories. The trailer might be more compelling to someone who wants to see sonogram footage of the unfortunately named Blue Ivy; but to this writer it seemed like something you might find on a lonely YouTube channel: lots of close up shots of her face and meditations we’ve heard before from other hard working pop stars. Beyoncé did direct it, though, which from the look of it seems to mean that she carried around a digital video camera all by herself.

Public service announcement: anyone that does not want their face melted off by blistering guitar solos and gut-bursting comedy, steer clear of Tenacious D’s new Festival Supreme, a comedy/rock line-up that will bring rock fans to their knees.