Holi-Daze

There’s no denying that April 20 is the best day a canna-sseur can dream of. It’s like Halloween (cool parties), Thanksgiving (good food) and Christmas (joy to the world) all rolled into one. But wait—if you look carefully enough, you’ll find that all the big holidays have something for everyone—including MMJ patients. Your calendar just got awesome.

HALLOWEEN

Costume parties (but give the slutty nurse outfits a rest—so played out) and watching scary movies are always a blast, but it’s the über-abundance of Tootsie Rolls, Snickers minis and bite-size Abba-Zaba bars that make this a cause for celebration for sweet-toothed munchie mavens. And all the candy is on someone else’s dime!

THANKSGIVING

If the history of this country ever provided us with an easy-to-understand lesson, it’s the one the Pilgrims and the Native Americans taught us way back in 1621: Lay out a big feast, pass the peace pipe around and make sure everyone gets a big slice of pumpkin pie. Gobble, gobble.

CHRISTMAS

Don’t get fooled by all the presents and stuffed stockings—Christmas is the “greenest” holiday of them all already. Holly, wreaths, the tree, mistletoe—and we haven’t even gotten to the cookies and milk (read: midnight snack). Plus, when you read ’Twas the Night Before Christmas, you’ll see that Santa must have been medicating (“The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth/And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath”). How do you think Kris Kringle got all that Yuletide cheer?