Hearts Afire

Looking for love in the all the right places: 420 online dating

By Sarah Diesel

Let’s face it, dating in general can be challenging so you can imagine the struggle people have when they go online to find romance and love; scrolling through profiles of people like a video game or Internet search for a local restaurant.

I totally get that this is a fabulous way to weed out (no pun intended) the people whose key doesn’t exactly unlock your heart. Plus, half the battle when meeting new people is finding out if they smoke/medicate. 420-friendly websites take the pressure off of having to ask that awkward but inevitable question, “So . . . um . . . do . . . you . . . um . . . smoke?” Not to mention the fact that the old-fashioned way of meeting someone at a bar on a Friday night is ridiculous for people like me that don’t drink. (Now a hashish bar is a different story . . .)

After conducting thorough research on 420-friendly websites, while smoking an entire eighth of Blue Dream, the data I found was absolutely astonishing.

Some dating sites have a keyword feature, so naturally I typed in “marijuana,” and every time thousands of profiles came up. It’s inevitable that people who use marijuana want to meet and date other people who do, too. As for me, my future husband will definitely love this plant as much as I do. That’s for sure.

Here are my Diesel Tips for Online Dating:

THE USERNAME

This should be something clever and debonair. Avoid names like Smokey McPot or High 24/7. These are so 1999.

THE PHOTO(S)

What’s with the half-naked people in the mirror holding their phone or the picture of a nasty-looking water pipe? Plus, ladies, if you want to attract weirdoes, be sure to wear your bra and underwear and pose in bed. Really, though, a simple headshot of you smiling is so much better and less dirty.

THE PROFILE

Most people say, I’m a creative, intelligent and outgoing person. The reality is that people are biased when it comes to this, so please get a little more creative. Now this doesn’t mean write, likes to eat food, play video games and I’m high right now . . . unless that’s really what you do because then you’re obviously a true, yes I’m going to say the “S” word, stoner. With that description, you’re sure to find your stoner soul mate.

COMMON SENSE

The person you are in contact with can be deceiving you by giving a false age, occupation, photograph and any other details. Do your research. I repeat, do your research.

MEETING IN PERSON

If, and only if, you have done your research and everything is on the up and up do you meet in person. Never go alone, regardless if you’re a man or woman. Bring a friend or family member with you. I know this may seem crazy, but what they think of this person is very important. Especially when all you’re thinking about is hearts and rainbows or sex.

BE CONFIDENT WITH WHO YOU ARE

Some people that you like may not like you back or may not respond to your messages—it’s just the way it goes. Remember: it’s no big deal, it’s their loss if they don’t want to meet such a great person.

The Right Chemistry?

Speaking of love, when the heart goes pitter-patter, the heating up of the loins is likely not far behind. So, what is cannabis’ effect on the libido? Like many things, it depends on who you ask. For some, marijuana inebriation is a distraction from reaching the Big O. For others, it accentuates physical sensations. A 2008 Canadian study involving a survey of 41 adults concluded with mixed results. Half of those interviewed reported that cannabis boosted the libido, the other half said the opposite. Guess that means we gotta do more, ahem, “research.”