Dear Sarah, I’m having a springtime cannabis gathering for friends at my house. What are some tips that you can give me?
—Party Planning Patient
Dear Party Patient,
Planning medical cannabis events is my forte. My mother always told me to KISS—Keep It Simple, Silly. I changed it to “Keep It Simple, Stoner” (this being my one exception to use the “s” word). Break down your event into categories:
1) Food and Drinks: Serve savory and sweet snacks to appease all kinds of palates. Brownies and chips satisfy most munchie cravings, plus they’re inexpensive. Make sure to have some healthy snacks like veggies and fruit (dip fruit into melted medicated chocolate if you dare). As for the drinks, I’d skip the alcohol unless you have a great carpet cleaner/deodorizer because cannabis and alcohol don’t mix, I’ve learned. I suggest you make some fun fruit juice spritzers, instead.
2) Ambiance and Music: Candles everywhere, including the bathroom. Nothing mellows out a room like the flicker of natural light. Fresh, brightly colored flowers in funky containers will add some life to each room. Keep the vibe going with some ooh-so-chill music, but throw something funky in there to keep it uplifting. Neither Yngwie Malmsteen’s nor Dio’s Greatest Hits fit this description.
3) Cannabis Etiquette: It’s polite as a host(ess) to provide proper ventilation. It might be amusing to walk into a room with the layer of smoke so thick you could cut it with a knife, but some fresh air will add a little life to the party. Provide plenty of different pre-rolled joints, pipes, bubblers, bongs, vaporizers, rolling papers, joint tips, pokers, rolling trays, grinders, ashtrays and—of course—lots of lighters to counteract the Spontaneous Lighter Combustion Theory discussed in last month’s CULTURE.
Dear Sarah, my girlfriend is always hassling me that my bong, uh, I mean water pipe, is too dirty. I think she is just a germ freak. Which one of us is right?
—Dirty Bong in L.A.
Dear Dirty Bong,
I like to say “Just say no . . . to dirty bongs,” but, hey, she might be a germ freak, too. You never know. You should be cleaning your bong every day you use it. Yes, every day! This may seem like a gargantuan task, but if you keep on top of it, you won’t be spending hours trying to dislodge an inch-thick piece of resin from the side of the bowl, as is often the case during one’s annual bong cleaning.
First, remove the bowl piece and stem and place them on a paper towel. We’ll get to them in a minute. Next, pour out the water into the toilet. Then, gently place the bowl piece and stem in a plastic sandwich or freezer-size bag (depends on the size of the bong stem) with just enough 90-percent isopropyl alcohol and sea salt to cover the stem and bowl piece. Close the bag and let them soak while you clean the rest of the bong.
Fill about 1/3 of the base of the bong with isopropyl alcohol and sea salt or uncooked white rice into the bong. Cover all of the openings of the bong with plastic wrap and rubber bands. Shake the bong vigorously, removing all of the resin. Pour the dirty water into the toilet. Lather, rinse, and repeat as necessary. Rinse the bong twice with clean hot water and set it aside.
Now, back to the bowl and stem that have been soaking: Keep them in the plastic bag and very carefully hold the pieces while shaking the bag like a washing machine, getting the salt in all the little crevices. Slowly pour out the alcohol and salt while holding the stem and bowl. Using hot water, rinse the bowl and stem until they are sparkling clean. Reattach the stem and bowl and pour ice-cold water into the bong. Pack it with your favorite strain and combust. Repeat this every day, and you and your friends will be very happy.
Shamrocks and Leprechauns,
Got a burning question about love, life and/or the pursuit of medicine? Ask Sarah Diesel, medical-marijuana advocate and L.A.’s Countess of Class and Cannabis. Just keep your questions short, straightforward and obscenity-free, and email them to AskSarah@freeculturemag.com.