Liner Notes July 2014

Lots of cultural institutions such as libraries and museums
are now moving their collections online so that even someone halfway around the
world can see great works of art or read works in the public domain. Now,
however, the Museum of Modern Art in New York has decided to, for the first
time, reverse the direction of that transaction by inducting BJÖRK’s app “Biophilia” into its
collection. “Biophilia,” which was paired with an album of the same name, is
the first app to become a part of MoMA’s permanent collection. Skeptics and
others who have not used the app may ask when “Angry Birds” or “2048” will be
making their debut at the prestigious gallery, but they’d be missing the point
that “Biophilia” was not only highly deliberate and artistic, but also
incredibly innovative. It also blazes a trail for lesser-known app makers to
potentially use that medium for their art and have it taken seriously.

On the other side of the coin, let’s look at things that
should be taken less seriously: LANA DEL
REY, celebrity twitters and of course, baby GHOSTFACE and RAEKWON.
If you haven’t heard of that last one, here’s the scoop: Dan Lieberman, a new
father of twin boys, posted a picture of them online with birth certificates in
front of them which read Ghostface and Raekwon. Lieberman intended the photo to
be a practical joke on friends, but the internet did what it did best and blew
the whole thing way out of proportions. Soon, Lieberman was being retweeted by
Raekwon who used the hashtag #wu4thebabies. Some defended him, some derided
him, some said he should’ve gone further, i.e. having a third kid and naming
him “young dirty bastard”, a play on another WU-TANG CLAN member. The dust settled, however, when Lieberman
admitted that it had just been a joke. He may soon learn the hard way, however,
that Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to f*#k with.

OZZY OSBOURNE,
the mumbling, coke-addled Brit who breathed demonic life into some of the best
heavy metal of the last century, has been tapped to play a guest role on
“Bubble Guppies”, a children’s show on Nick, Jr. that kids will apparently
watch. Osbourne will be playing a character called Sid Fishy, a troublemaking
fish who has a fin ring, a black leather jacket, and a red mohawk. The show,
which will also feature RuPaul Charles
as a “charismatic snail” later this season, has a track record for pulling
unexpected guest stars that the children watching have no context to understand
or appreciate; but I think the casting is fine.

What’s terrible to me is the fish’s name: Sid Fishy. First
of all, SID VICIOUS was punk, not
metal. If you want points for the reference, make sure that you’ve got the
appropriate sub-genre. He could’ve been called Bass Dickinson. If you were
really sure that you wanted a punk fish and that Ozzy was the right guy for the
job, they should’ve at least gone for the more complete pun, Sid Fishous. These
are the things that keep me up at night.

LARS ULRICH,
drummer for METALLICA, has accepted
a drum-off challenge from the RED HOT
CHILI PEPPERS’ CHAD SMITH and actor/comedian Will Ferrell. Smith and Farrell already went head-to-head in the
first round, answering fan’s demands for the two, who look shockingly similar,
to duel it out. They were also able to raise money for charity by fundraising
before going on The Tonight Show with
Jimmy Fallon. Ulrich, the bridge troll of metal, happily accepted the
challenge for a second drum off. Now we’ll just have to see if this one
featured as much cowbell as the first. I need more cowbell.