Hot Spots

Exploring the most dangerous countries in the world to medicate

By David Jenison

Harold and Kumar might have survived Guantanamo Bay, but there are passport stamps for places far more dangerous for cannabis smokers and MMJ patients. Just ask Schapelle Colby, an attractive 27-year-old Aussie caught with cannabis in her bag entering Indonesia. She’s now serving 20 years, but she could’ve easily been hung like 39-year-old Raman Renganathan, whose stash got him the noose in Singapore. Nancy Reagan had a “War on Drugs,” but some countries have declared Armageddon, which is important when making decisions about medicating overseas.

As many a stretched neck can attest, Singapore and cannabis go together about as well as Tea Parties and African-American presidents. The city-state is kid-friendly with every imaginable amusement park, but recovering from Mickey and Minnie overload should be limited to overpriced drinks at Raffles. Medicating with smoke can earn you 10 years in prison, a $20,000 fine and several whacks with a rattan cane, while 200 grams or more earns a Singapore Swing.

“A close friend of mine, an Aussie, sold weed in Singapore, and I didn’t find out till 10 months into our friendship,” says SoCal-born Rachel, who spent a year working in Singapore. “[Sellers have] their lives on the line so they have to take all the safety precautions and rely on trust. As an unknown trying to purchase weed, it’d be pretty hard. You’d have to build up trust with friends, casually talk about the subject, see what their opinions are and then inquire.”

Thailand is another country with an iron fist for green thumbs. The Prime Minister there once launched a three-month shoot-to-kill policy that left over 2,200 people dead. China, Vietnam, Malaysia and Indonesia also have histories of stoning the stoner. The Philippines actually abolished the death penalty in recent years, but unless you’re a fan of large-scale, choreographed “Thriller” reenactments, the electric chair might be preferable to their Midnight Express prisons.

Steve, a 24-year-old Canadian, nearly got arrested smoking with friends on a Philippine beach. He recalls, “About 10 officers snuck up on us, and they found our blunts on the sand. They did everything they could to get us to confess. They scared us by saying that we were so young and tried to tell us that the punishment would be worse if we didn’t confess. This went on for about an hour, but we didn’t crack. They kept making phone calls and asking if we had our passports back at the hostel. I was freaking out, and all I could think of was, ‘Man, I wish I wasn’t so high right now!’”

The police attempted some half-baked CSI crap before taking the group to the hostel, but with no evidence, the officers eventually gave up. “It was frickin‘ scary!!!” Steve adds.

The Arab world seems to have bigger issues these days, but places like Saudi Arabia and Dubai would make you think the Prophet issued a fatwa against cannabis. The United Arab Emirates have a zero-tolerance drug policy and a guilty-until-proven-innocent system of justice. In fact, this country is so strict that sleeping pills and painkillers can land you in a desert prison even with a U.S. doctor’s prescription.

It is ill advised to risk medicating in these countries, but if caught, here are some suggestions. Andrew Jacksons won’t do the trick, but a few Franklin greenbacks are worth keeping handy for bribes. The Thai and Singapore police will likely ask for several more, but clearly it’s worth it. Just make sure the transaction happens before getting to the station since more officers means more bribes. Likewise, you should never trust unknown locals, especially taxi drivers. Informants often get kickbacks from the police, so a local can sell you smoke one minute and rat you out the next. Still, there’s another crucial precaution that most people never consider.

“Anything you’re accused or arrested for will usually be connected to drug use, and they will likely try to test you,” says Mike, a 26-year-old Aussie living in Singapore. “Even if you smoked up somewhere else in the world, if your test comes up positive, you could be charged. That’s why it’s important to know your rights no matter where you may be in the world.”

Spoken like a true pro.

Patient Beware

They don’t mess around in Saudi Arabia. Cannabis is totally illegal and the

U.S. state department warns American travelers that penalties involving drugs are “severe.” Imprisonment for personal use of any kind could involve 6 months of jail time or more. Dealing and smuggling cannabis usually results in harsher prison time or even execution, although this is rare. Non-Saudi citizens caught medicating also risk being deported.